a wormfood soul - or something
for years i was 'unplugged'. no tv no internet no car no connections no mind. now i am in a place better than any i have known before - yet still feel ideologically outcast among my own friends and peers; it has always been the same. my teeth rot and no one agrees with me, not even the damn communists. my internal dialogue is non-stop and confusing. you think i talk too much when i just think too much and spit out the undigested lumps into our trivial dialogues. i think once i had an edge, but lost it somewhere, now i search for new intensity, or creative outlets at least. i do not want to grow up because when you grow up your heart shrivels. levity. the days fly by, projects go unfinished. hope is dead, a dead man's gamble, i have to stop wasting time! will humans ever stop killing? darkness. rain. good. god? i want more. too much. they teach us inaccountability and escapism, yet... this nothing is fake. i am learning, i am creating things. i am on myspace now, same username.
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